If you've been married for 20, 30 or even 40 years, I have to give it up to you . . . that's good work. But you've still got a ways to go before you can hang with 97-year-old Mitchell Atkins and his wife, 103-year-old Mattie, of Philadelphia.
Mitchell and Mattie met in 1928 when he was just 16 and she was 22. In order to get Mattie to pay attention to him, Mitchell lied and told her he was 23 . . . and she didn't learn the truth about his age until a few months AFTER their first kid was born.
Now, they have six children, 19 grandchildren, 29 great-grandchildren and 12 great-great grandchildren. And earlier this month, Mitchell and Mattie celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. (!!!)
To put that in perspective for you, Mitchell and Mattie got married the day after the very first Mickey Mouse comic strip appeared in the "New York Mirror". And they've been married two years longer than the average American's life expectancy.
Mitchell says, quote, "She was the prettiest thing in the whole world. And she's still the loveliest." And Mattie adds, quote, "Love, love, love each other. It's beautiful, beautiful to be old and still be in love at our age."
(--Take a look at Mitchell and Mattie here . . .)
(Philadelphia Inquirer)
Tetris Lights??? On a building??? You have GOT to see this...
57-year-old Annette Edwards lives in England. For years, she's been obsessed with Jessica Rabbit from the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".
So six months ago, Annette decided it was time to finally live out her dream by spending $16,000 on plastic surgery in order to look more like Jessica Rabbit. (???)
Annette says, quote, "Growing up, I'd always been fascinated with the cartoon character Jessica Rabbit. I thought she was stunning and for years I longed to look like my idol . . . I sometimes get stopped in the street, and have had loads of nice compliments."
Annette also claims she's been contacted by "Playboy" about doing a photo shoot. If that's true, "Playboy" is in MUCH worse shape than anyone could have possibly imagined.
Worth all that money? Take a look for yourself...
Ok, I know it's not Country, but this Year In Review set to music is pretty funny...
Here's a scene from "The Matrix" . . . done entirely with Legos.
Are you a fan of the Star Trek movie (out on DVD yesterday)? Check out the gag reel:
The Most AMAZING Domino Drop...EVER!
A new dominoes record was set in Holland last weekend. 4,491,863 dominoes were toppled . . . and it took an hour and a half! Here are some of the highlights.
THERE'S A RESORT IN AUSTRIA WHERE YOU CAN SWIM IN A POOL OF BEER:
Guys . . . the next time you're trying to decide where to go on vacation, you might want to consider the town of Starkenberger, Austria.
That's because there's a spa there called the Starkenberger Myth of Beer Resort, and it has three 5,000-gallon swimming pools full of BEER.
That's right . . . swimming pools FULL OF BEER.
According to resort officials, swimming in beer can help treat skin conditions, improve blood circulation and even cure wounds. The jury is still out as to whether or not that's actually true.
Halloween Goodies:
Saturday is Halloween, and we were thinking that before you take the kids out trick-or-treating, you might want to feed them a delicious, Halloween-themed meal. Well, we've got one for you . . .
--It's called Meat Hands. And as gruesome as the name makes it sound, it's really just meatloaf that's been shaped to look like a severed hand . . . complete with onion slices for the wrist bone and fingernails.
(--Check out some photos of this deliciousness, including recipes for three different versions of Meat Hands by clicking here...
(Not Martha)
WOULD YOU HAND OUT BACON-FLAVORED GUMBALLS FOR HALLOWEEN?
This Halloween, you can hand out "regular" candy just like everyone else. Or you can break the mold and pass out some "less traditional" Halloween treats.
And I don't mean apples and toothbrushes. That's lame. I'm talking about stuff like THIS.
--Bacon-flavored gumballs . . .
--Garlic mints . . .
--Zit Poppers, which are oversized acne bumps filled with candy pus . . .
--Human Dog Food, which is candy kibble in a mini bowl . . .
--And Scorpion Pops, which are just like regular lollipops, only they have a dead scorpion in the center.
Would you pass this out to the kids??
(--You can buy these disgusting treats, along with several others that sound just as nasty, here . . .)
YOU CAN BUY MATCHING SLUTTY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR YOU AND YOUR DOG:
Hey ladies . . . is the reason you love Halloween so much because it gives you the chance to dress up like a , well, working girl. It's okay, that's why we ALL love Halloween.
And now, thanks to a website called SpoiledRottenDoggies.com, you can buy matching Halloween costumes for you and your DOG, so you can BOTH dress up like sluts this year.
For example:
(--You can buy skanky, matching Halloween costumes for you and your dog here . . .)
AND NOW . . . A PORK CHOP THAT LOOKS LIKE RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER: (???)
For the life of me, I can't imagine how some people have so much free time on their hands.
For example, on Tuesday, a woman named Sue Church stopped by the local Fox affiliate in Greensboro, North Carolina, to show them a picture of a PORK CHOP she'd eaten that slightly resembled Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. (???)
Apparently, Sue didn't have much going on that Tuesday, and she thought the pork chop's unusual appearance was somehow newsworthy. Even more bizarre, the people at the local Fox affiliate AGREED with her and actually reported the story.
Take a look..
Ya know...she may have a point
This guy can blow up a hot water bottle using his NOSE!!!?? Check it out:
Ok, so our old friend Sue sent this to me (yes THAT Sue)...proving that nobody is ALL bad....
Watch and be amazed.....and, um thanks Sue
The 100 Greatest YouTube Hits in Four Minutes:
A WOMAN IN INDONESIA GAVE BIRTH TO A 19-POUND BABY: (!!!)
On Monday, a woman from northern Indonesia named Ani gave birth to a baby boy. But this wasn't just any baby boy. He was the LARGEST baby ever born in the country of Indonesia. So just how big was he?
--At the time of his birth, which required a C-section delivery, the boy was more than TWO FEET long, and weighed 19.2 POUNDS.
And Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Redneck of the Year!!!
Last year, officials in Arizona installed dozens of photo-enforcement traffic cameras around the state as part of a project aimed at getting speeders to slow down.
In that time, a guy from Phoenix named Dave Vontesmar has accumulated 37 speeding tickets to the tune of more than $6,500 in fines. But Dave says he doesn't have to pay. Why?
Because in order to make him pay, state officials have to prove that Dave was the person driving his car when the photo-ticket was issued.
The problem is that in all 37 of the photos, Dave . . . or someone else . . . makes it impossible to ID the driver. Dave says, quote, "They're required by law to ID the driver of the vehicle. If they can't identify the driver by the picture, what are they doing to identify the driver?
"Not one of them there is a picture where you can identify the driver of the car . . . I sent back all the [tickets] I got with a copy of my driver's license and said, 'It's not me. I'm not paying.'"
It's unclear whether Dave will be forced to pay the speeding fines. Overall, the photo-enforcement program has helped the state earn about $20 MILLION.
Take a look at why they can't ID the driver:
(Arizona Republic)
Here's what you've all been waiting for:
Perky Jerky!!! The world's first "all-natural performance enhancing meat snack"
Click here
Good luck to ya...
Watch this kid drive his "Mustang" into a parking space...
Meet the Republican Dog...
Someone edited together clips from various JAMES BOND movies to make it look like the six different actors who played him are playing poker against each other.
File this under: Videos we Wish/Hope are real...
Have you seen the video everybody's talking about? A building demolition goes horribly wrong when the building topples over onto it's roof. See the video...
Here's a version of "Folsom Prison Blues" you've probably never heard before.
This young man is 5 YEARS OLD!!
Two guys filmed themselves doing difficult tricks with everyday things . . . like throwing a roll of paper towels onto a paper towel holder from across the room . . . then edited them all together to make it look like they were done in one day.
This guy makes it look like he's flying next to a fast-moving car, but he's actually just leaning out the backseat window.
Anybody for "Extreme Golf"?
Forget pitch and putt - this tee-off point on top of a 430m mountain in South Africa is the hardest golf shot in the world, and more than $US1 million awaits the player who can score a hole in one.
Players must take a helicopter to the top to play the longest - and highest - par three on the planet.
Taking the shot also requires courage - a player needs to teeter terrifyingly close to the edge of the mammoth hillside.
Indeed, the Extreme 19th Hole is so high the ball takes almost 30 seconds to reach the ground.
Channel Nine cricket commentator Mark Nicholas recently joined an elite list to have the shot in just three swings.
"It was awesome, riveting and phenomenal," he said. "It's like the end of the world when you get up there and it's an awful lot of fun.
"It's such an adrenalin rush taking the helicopter up and then rushing back down."
The hole is based at the Legends Golf and Safari Resort, within the Entabeni Safari Conservancy in South Africa 's north-eastern Limpopo Province.
The other 18 holes were designed by world golfing legends including Trevor Immelman, Sergio Garcia, Padraig Harrington and Australia's Robert Allenby.
A round of golf - including a buggy and lunch - will set you back R450 ($A70).
The Extreme 19th costs is R6700 ($A1060) per four ball, that includes helicopter ride, souvenir cap and glove and a DVD of you playing the hole.
So far, no one has even come close pocketing the million-dollar prize, but Harrington became the first golfer to conquer the hole within par.
Harrington said: "This is the type of innovation and excitement we need to get more people playing golf.
"There aren't many new innovative ways to play the game but this is certainly one of the best.
"I think this hole is awesome - I love the whole experience, the helicopter, the views, the drama and having the green the shape of Africa .
"And now I've got bragging rights over all the other professionals who have played this and not managed to make a three. I love everything about it."
When Wenches Attack...
Did you ever wonder what you’d look like as a monkey? Or a painting by one of the masters? Or even a baby? Just head on over to the "Face Transformer", a website from the Perception Laboratory at the University of St. Andrews, in Scotland.
Just upload a picture of your face, follow the directions, and "transform" your face to see what your face would look like.
Try it for yourself by clicking here
I’m not sure I like the results but here’s what I came up with after playing with it using my own photo…
El Greco Drunk Apeman Magna style
Everybody's talking about the new Jib-Jab video of Barack Obama. Here it is...
The world record for the largest number of people dressed as Smurfs was smashed in the early hours of this morning (June 9).
The city of Swansea, Wales was turned blue as a group of 2,510 people, the majority of whom were students from the local university, crammed into the Oceana nightclub to almost double the previous record.
My pal Bill Best sent this to me...brace yourself...
Senior Dress Code: If you’re at or near that all important age of 50, you may be asking yourself what might be appropriate at that age. Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a zimmer
And, Most importantly
AT SOME POINT YOU MUST GIVE UP THE DAISY DUKE SHORTS!!!!!
WANNA SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE INSIDE A TORNADO??
Did You wake up this morning thinking, "Hey, I could REALLY go for some sausage and bacon in the shape of a log cabin"?
Of course you did.
Here's a before picture:
Here's what it looks like cooked:
Bon Apetite, now stop playing with your food....
The Biggest Fun!!! Spend a few minutes looking at "Awkward Family Photos" Like the one below.
Click Here
Little Girl....BIG voice!
Check out this little sweetheart singing the National Anthem...
CHECK OUT THESE COOL, REALISTIC-LOOKING 3D MURALS PAINTED ON THE SIDES OF BUILDINGS:
Let's face it . . . the average wall mural painted on the side of a building isn't all that impressive. But there's an artist named John Pugh who specializes in large, realistic-looking 3D murals and . . . I have to say . . . his work is extremely cool.
Thursday, more than 2,500 people flocked to Lincoln City, Indiana and stood in line for up to SEVEN HOURS . . . just to get their hands on a new ABE LINCOLN-themed penny.
Would you wait in line for a penny? Take a look at what all the fuss is about
Have you ever wondered what a live action adventure based on "My Little Pony" would look like?
Well wonder no more....
THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE MOST EMASCULATING THING EVER . . . THE "ANGELS KNEE" TOILET PILLOW: (???)
Ladies . . . don't you hate it how every time your guy answers the call of nature . . . he splatters all over the rim of the toilet? Of course you do . . . which is why you're going to love THIS . . .
--Recently, a new product went on sale in Japan . . . called the Angels Knee Pillow . . . which is basically a bench for men to kneel on while they use the toilet.
--The idea is that if a man kneels in front of the toilet, there's less distance to travel before splashing into the toilet . . . and THAT will reduce the amount of liquid that splatters onto the rim of the bowl.
No sense letting a little pandemic keep you from being fashionable...Take a look at these:
Are you thinking that the Air Force One fly by in New York was much ado about nothing? You might not after watching this video....What were these people THINKING????
Check out these Public Service Announcements for the Swine Flu Vaccine.....from 1976!!!
You know that I'm a Star Trek Geek...so you can imagine I was thrilled to find a program online that lets me live the fantasy.
See more and do it yourself! Click Here
Send yours to me in an e-mail Click Here
In this morning's trivia we found that people spend 39 seconds a day pulling out of parking spaces.
That is, of course, if they can get INTO them! Take a look at this video:
Take a look at this (make sure you read along):
Craig Wilkins sent this to me and I had forgotten how funny Buddy Hackett could be. It's an old joke but nobody could tell it better...
Did you see the Watchmen? Now watch it as if it was a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon. This is amazing!
Here's the new singer for Rascal Flatts...or not...
GUYS!!!!
Watch this video before you buy a gift for that "Special Someone"!!!!
Here's the guy we were talking about, that sings the national anthem backwards:
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